German Cultural Value: Prizing Virtues Of Saving

Germans, Prizing Virtues of Saving, Find Euro Bailouts Hard to Swallow*

The 28-year-old mathematician has never taken out a loan, rarely uses his credit card, and saves about 10% of his paycheck every month. He recently bought a car with cash. “I’ve never bought anything without having the money for it,” Mr. Strogies says. His behavior, multiplied across the population of Germany, Europe’s biggest economy, helps explain the economic imbalances that have fed the euro zone’s crisis.

For years, German consumers’ reluctance to splurge has left German companies reliant on exports for growth. Other euro-zone economies, meanwhile, have had to live with sluggish exports to Germany, with its large economy. At the same time, the strong euro has made products from the peripheral countries less competitive outside the euro zone. On top of this, the weaker countries’ low savings rates are forcing a reliance on foreign investors to finance their deficits.

Now, frugal German taxpayers like Mr. Strogies are on the hook for bailing out some other European countries where borrowing has been a way of life. It’s one of the issues fueling tensions within the euro zone as Germany and France this week began the delicate task of trying to convince their major banks to voluntarily accept losses on their holdings of debt in Greece, which faces a cash crunch despite a bailout last year.

Germans’ deep-seated economic caution has roots in the ruinous wars and inflation of the last century. Many of today’s Germans are as frugal as ever, on average saving 11.5% of their incomes in 2010, according to the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development. That compares with a savings rate of 5.7% in the U.S. last year.

In Ireland, one of the euro-zone countries that is getting a bailout, the average savings rate last year was 11.1%, near that of Germany—but the rate only rose after the shock of the global financial crisis, and follows years of much lower saving. Meanwhile, in Greece, residents on average spent 12% more than they earned in 2008, the latest year for which data is available from the OECD.

“Risk-averse Germans are concerned about the problematic economic behavior of some of their neighboring countries,” says Thorsten Hennig-Thurau, a professor at Münster University, who studies consumer habits. That, he says, explains many Germans’ growing nostalgia for their beloved former national currency, the Deutsche mark.

Although there are some signs that Germany’s improving labor market could boost consumer spending, economists say German households aren’t about to become free-spending drivers of Europe’s growth.

Germans typically invest their savings conservatively too, preferring savings-bank deposits that offer low interest rates to higher-yielding but riskier investments such as stocks.

When Mr. Strogies and his girlfriend, after having a baby last year, decided to buy a bigger car, they drew on their savings to buy a used Nissan Primera for about €10,000 ($14,200). “My parents taught me that you can only pay with the money you have,” Mr. Strogies says. “I think that’s deep in the German philosophy.”

That attitude is widespread—and makes Germany a tough market for credit-card companies. “The word ‘credit,’ in the German mindset, is negative,” says Werner Decker, country manager for Germany at American Express Co.

One consequence of this culture: Debit cards are far more common in Germany than credit cards. Most Germans want “a payment tool, not a credit tool,” Mr. Decker says.

Greeks have started to feel the consequences of rash spending decisions as Greece’s economy lurches through its worst recession in more than 15 years.

“Unfortunately our membership is growing day by day,” says Theodore Thanopoulos, head of a group that helps Greek debtors, the Panhellenic Association for the Protection of Borrowers from Banks and Public Organizations.

In the past five years he has seen his membership rise more than fourfold to 1.5 million—or nearly one in five Greek adults. That coincides with the boom in consumer lending in Greece, which led to a consumer frenzy as many Greeks splashed out on new cars, new homes and expensive foreign vacations.

Now many Greeks are having to slash their spending at the same time as their government—which behaved similarly—is forced to cut its huge budget deficit, pushing the economy into a deep slump.

Ireland, Spain and Portugal are also suffering after bingeing on credit for years.

To alleviate the pain of retrenchment in the euro zone’s weaker economies, economists say, solvent countries, led by Germany, need to spend more to help boost their exports. Policy makers around Europe have urged Germany’s government to stimulate spending with tax cuts.

But many observers doubt it would work. If the German government sent out stimulus checks as the U.S. did, says Mr. Decker of American Express, “I would say 98%” of the population would put the money straight into their savings accounts.

Empathy In Leadership

Empathy In Leadership*

Last week I had the distinct pleasure of co-hosting the weekly #LeadFromWithin tweetchat with Lolly Daskal. The subject of my chat was “The Role of Empathy in Leadership” and I have to say I was gratified by both the level of participation and depth of contributions/insights which arose during the discussion (click here to download a PDF copy of the chat transcript).

Although I’ve written previously about the importance of empathy in leadership, I want to use last week’s talk as an opportunity to delve into this issue more, sharing some of the points I provided during the talk, as well as some of the insights proffered by the various participants. Here are the ten questions I asked participants as we discussed the role empathy plays in leadership.

1. What does empathy mean?

“Empathy means I demonstrate concern for & listen to reach understanding of others ideas & feelings.” – @scedmonds

In order to appreciate the role empathy plays in leadership, we first need to have a clear understanding of what empathy means. Most times, we tend to confuse empathy with sympathy; that to be empathetic means agreeing or relating to the feelings another person has regarding a given situation or individual.

However, what empathy really means is being able to understand the needs of others. It means that you’re aware of their feelings and how it impacts their perception. It doesn’t mean you have to agree with how they see things; rather, being empathetic means that you’re willing and able to appreciate what the other person is going through.

2. Why does it matter for us to understand the needs of others?

“By understanding others we can develop closer relationships.”

At first glance, this might seem a tad altruistic, but there are tangible benefits that are derived from making time to understand what those around us need, as opposed to what we perceive is required. Indeed, leaders who take the time to understand the needs of their employees can provide them with the support they require to press ahead, to deal with the challenges or issues that might be holding them back from achieving their goals.

By understanding and providing employees with what they need to succeed, leaders can build a sense of trust, thereby strengthening the relationships they have with their employees and consequently, the relationships employees have with one another, leading to greater collaboration and improved productivity.

3. What traits/behaviours distinguish someone as empathetic?

“Empathy requires listening, nonjudgmentalism, openness, emotional intelligence.”

I’ve written in a number of pieces about the importance of listening in leadership. And how effective or intentional we are in our desire to listen to what others are saying is a key trait among empathetic individuals.

Indeed, empathetic people listen attentively to what you’re telling them, putting their complete focus on the person in front of them and not getting easily distracted by what’s on their monitor or smartphone. They spend more time listening than talking because their want to understand the difficulties others face, all of which helps to give those around them the feeling of being heard and recognized.

4. Can we learn to be more empathetic or is this an innate trait?

“Empathy is human. We can develop empathy when we focus on others and commit to develop our authentic self.”

In the discussion that arose over my previous piece on empathy and leadership, I pointed out that contrary to popular belief, humans by nature are not self-centric or concerned only with matters of personal gain. Indeed, recent research into mirror neurons has proven that we’re wired for sociability and attachment to others; in other words, we’re driven to connect and understand those we interact with.

We only need to look at how the whole world not only reacts, but responds to natural disasters like those which struck Haiti and Japan to see that the drive for empathy is an inherent component of humanity.

5. What can we do to become more empathetic?

“Take a personal interest in people. Show people that you care, and genuine curiosity about their lives.” – @LollyDaskal

Given how empathy is a natural part of the human condition, our ability to demonstrate it to those around us is not as difficult as we might think. As mentioned earlier, one key trait of empathetic people is their ability to listen attentively to those around them. One way they do this is by paying more attention to both the verbal and non-verbal cues that are a part of everyday communication.

Making similar efforts will help you shift the focus from the story that’s in your mind to the actual message that’s being presented.

6. What role does empathy play in leadership? Why does it matter?

“When we understand our team we have a better idea of the challenges ahead of us.”

Let’s be honest, when it comes to the keys for successful leadership, empathy is rarely included in such a list. However, instilling a sense of empathy in how you lead those under your care offers a number of advantages:

• Empathy allows us to feel safe with our failures because we won’t simply be blamed for them.

• It encourages leaders to understand the root cause behind poor performance.

• Being empathetic allows leaders to help struggling employees improve and excel.

• Empathy allows leaders to build and develop relationships with those they lead.

7. So why aren’t we being more empathetic at work?

“Empathy takes time, focus, effort. Some ppl focus more on meeting deadlines than on the people who will carry you there.”

If it’s part of our make-up to be empathetic and that there are tangible benefits to fostering a sense of empathy within your organization, the question that naturally comes up is why then aren’t leaders taking the lead in making empathy a fixture in today’s business world. The most obvious reason (or excuse) is that the expression or recognition of any type of emotion in the workplace is still regarded as being a form of weakness (the rationale behind the well-worn phrase “it’s nothing personal; it’s just business”)

Of course, as is the case whenever there’s an examination of human interactions, the behaviours are rarely the result of one factor. Instead, it’s often due to a number of causes, which in this case includes:

• Demonstrating empathy is hard; it’s takes time and effort to demonstrate awareness & understanding.

• It’s not always easy to understand why an employee thinks or feels the way they do about a situation.

• It means putting others ahead of yourself which can be a challenge in today’s competitive workplace.

• Many organizations are focused on achieving goals no matter what the cost to employees.

In trying to address the apparent lack of empathy in today’s workplace, it’s important that we recognize that, much like an organization’s culture, it doesn’t come down to one element, but a series of inter-related behaviours and biases which serve to reinforce how leaders and their team perceive the value of empathy in business.

8. How can leaders encourage a culture of empathy?

“Create an environment were ppl feel it is safe to express their true opinion.”

One of the responsibilities of leadership is defining the long-term vision you have for the organization and establishing some short-term goals for your employees to attain in order to transform your plans into reality.

However, what distinguishes average to mediocre leaders from those who excel at leading others is how the latter group understands that their focus shouldn’t be simply directed to whether goals are achieved or not. Rather, their focus is also on fulfilling the collective purpose of creating something meaningful.

To accomplish this, leaders need to understand the inner purpose that drives each of their employees and aligning that with their organization’s goals. This requires that leaders be more open about their ideas and thinking and asking their employees about their thoughts on it. By spending more time learning about the needs of their employees, leaders can set the tone and approach taken by their employees to achieve their organization’s goals.

9. How can we use empathy to become a better leader?

“Empathy as a state of mind breeds more listening -> understanding -> leadership!”

By now it should be pretty clear that empathy plays a critical role in one’s ability to be a successful leader. But for those who might need more convincing, here are some of the ways empathy can help you to become a better leader for your team:

• You gain a greater awareness of the needs of your employees.

• Empathy allows you to create an environment of open communication and more effective feedback.

• It allows us to understand and explore problems employees face and how to help them resolve them.

• Being empathetic with your employees helps to validate what they’re going through.

10. If leaders could do one thing to create a more empathetic workplace, what would it be?

“Remember that people are not machines. They feel as well as produce.”

“Sawubona” is a Zulu greeting which basically means “we see you”. Now, this is not some variation of the royal usage of “we” in place of “I”. Rather, it’s their way of recognizing that how they understand what they see around them is a reflection of their perception that is derived not only from their own experiences, but from the stories and ideas passed down to them through their family and community.

Similarly, leaders need to remember that how we feel colours our perception of what we see going on around us and consequently, it’s important to understand those feelings so that we can respond and manage them accordingly.

It’s also important that we remind ourselves that the story we tell in our minds is different from the story playing in the minds of  others. It’s only through listening intently to others that we can begin to understand these differences.

As one of the pillars to developing empathy is being attentive to what others are saying, I’d like to end this piece with these two quotes which I think do an excellent job of capturing the very essence of the role empathy plays in leadership:

If you wish to know the mind of a man, listen to his words. – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe.

Nobody cares how much you know, until they know how much you care. – Theodore Roosevelt

3 Ways That Social Media Can Set Your Business Apart

3 Ways That Social Media Can Set Your Business Apart*

As business people, we can’t help but look sideways once in a while to see what the competition is doing. And gleaning strong insights about your competitors can help you make smarter and more nimble business decisions, especially thanks to the fast moving and information rich nature of the real-time web.

But success in your industry or your niche isn’t always about going head to head with more and louder marketing, creating splashy but fleeting campaigns, or just doing more, more, more. Social media provides companies of any size and stripe the opportunity to take a few considered, practical steps toward standing out amongst the pack and actually creating and providing value for the customers and prospects they serve.

1. Be Responsive

So much of being successful in social media is just about being present and responsive. Regardless of whether your competitors are being responsive themselves, you can stand out by being available, interested, and helpful in the moments when your customers and community need you to be.

For starters, that’s about answering compliments with a gracious “Thank you!”. Providing answers to questions that people ask you directly, or at least getting them to someone that can help them in another channel. And perhaps most importantly, responding – openly and publicly – to complaints or criticisms with a simple acknowledgement that you’re sorry, and would like to find a way to help.

If you really want to knock it out of the park, take your response to another level and learn to look for and spot the point of need in your communities. Be relevant, helpful, and friendly, and you’ll go a long way to making your mark in your industry simply by being willing to lend a hand (even when it might not net you an immediate benefit).

2. Share Knowledge

Your content is important, and sharing news or information about your products, services, expertise, or people is part of why you’re engaged in social media to begin with.

But if you really want to stand out? Become a resource, too. Share great, informational content that you find on your own adventures through the web (this is a great way to get your community team engaging between their typical points of response). That can be from industry resources, blogs you read, the mainstream news. Think about your customers and community *between* their moments of doing business with you; what interests them? What other things are they likely encountering in their lives or business? How about just sharing something interesting and fun that’s totally off the beaten path?

Sharing what you know and find – even if you didn’t create it – provides lots of opportunities for people to connect with you not just when they need what you provide, but when they’re looking for great resources. Be the curator and the resource for all sorts of great stuff and help your customers find value in their relationship with you for whole new reasons.

3. Act on Feedback

Listening is fundamental, and we talk about that a lot around here.

But acting on what you hear is important, and sharing and showing that action can be a differentiator indeed. If you’re gathering feedback about your products and services and using it to improve what you do, demonstrate that somehow. Use your online community to share the improvements you’re putting in place. Share the best and most useful feedback from your customers (yep, even if it suggests improvements) and respond to it publicly with how you’re putting that to use, and consider rewarding or at least acknowledging the contributors that are driving the changes you’re making.

No one expects a business or a product to be perfect all the time. And it’s true that social media success requires a sound product or service as table stakes.

But we love and respond to the companies that not only can acknowledge and pay attention to the feedback they get, but take it to heart and use it to make things better.

So what would you suggest?

How are you using social media engagement and participation to stand out in your market or industry? What are you doing that’s not just visible, but that’s building something that matters to the people that want to do business with you? How has social media helped you gain that competitive edge?

If you’re a customer, what makes one company stand out from another in your eyes? What are the factors that can help a company win your business?

Dialog im Unternehmen

Dialog im Unternehmen

Eines ist sicher: Der Dialog ist kein Allheilmittel zur Konfliktlösung! Andererseits kann der Dialogprozess einen Beitrag dazu leisten, dass Konflikte gar nicht entstehen. Wenn die Betroffenen im Vorfeld über ihre Meinungen, Ansichten, Blickwinkel, Stereotype und Vorurteile bewusst werden bzw. sind, kann man Konfliktpotenziale vermeiden. Bohm ist der Meinung, dass die meisten Konflikte durch die Begrenztheit des menschlichen Denkens entstehen. Menschen verstehen sich nicht wirklich, sondern verlassen sich oftmals auf das, was sie zu hören meinen, anstatt auf das Gesagte zu achten. Wir hören durch einen Filter von Emotionen und Vorurteilen zu. Menschen sollen sich den Unterschied zwischen Gesagtem und Gemeintem bewusst machen. Isaacs entwickelte eine Dialogtheorie und greift dabei auf die Ansichten Bohms zurück. Isaacs gliedert die Komponenten seiner Theorie in vier Kernprinzipien des Dialogs. Diese vier Komponenten sind:

· Beteiligung und Zuhören

· Kohärenz und Respektieren

· Bewusstheit und Suspendieren

· Entfaltung und Artikulieren.

Beteiligung und Zuhören

Isaacs ist der Ansicht, dass man sich bewusst werden soll, welche reflexartigen Urteile über das Gehörte die Gedanken und Antworten beeinflussen. Dazu soll man andere Erfahrungen und Meinungen respektieren und das eigene Selbstgefühl erweitern. Voraussetzung dazu ist, dass:

· jeder Einzelne gleichzeitig Bestandteil und Beobachter des Ganzen ist;

· jedes Wort nicht nur seine satzspezifische Bedeutung, sondern auch den tieferen Kontext der Situation des Lebens des Sprechers bzw. des Zuhörers enthält;

· von unterschiedlichen Leuten also völlig anders interpretiert und mit unterschiedlichen Vorstellungen und Werten besetzt werden kann.

Kohärenz und Respektieren

Hier handelt es sich um das bewusste und aktive Herausschauen und Denken aus der Perspektive des anderen. Respektieren ist also wichtiger als akzeptieren. Es geht darum, Unterschiede zu erkennen, aber gleichzeitig den Blick auf die verbindenden Elemente im Verschiedenen zu lenken. Störfaktoren, wie Reflexe und Emotionen, die das Gesagte in einem hervorrufen, werden in den Dialog integriert, indem man das Problem in sich aufnimmt und ihm im eigenen Innern begegnet.

Bewusstheit und Suspendieren

Man soll sich seiner reaktiven Denkmuster bewusst werden. Dazu ist es erforderlich, dass man in der Lage ist, seine Fähigkeit, Urteile, Meinungen oder Denkmuster in der Schwebe zu halten, sie also abzusondern, zu suspendieren. Nur so kann man das Geschehen aus einer neuen Perspektive betrachten. Es ist also wichtig, innezuhalten und Annahmen oder Reaktionen volle Aufmerksamkeit zu schenken. Man soll sich ihnen nicht hingeben! Erst indem man Kritik suspendiert, eröffnet der Relativierungsprozess den Blick auf das Gemeinsame der Standpunkte, was dann wieder auf den vorherigen Punkt zurückgreift, in dem es darum ging, sich der verbindenden Elemente im Verschiedenen bewusst zu werden, also die Kohärenz zu finden.

Der Prozess des Suspendierens ermöglicht es, die normale Schlussfolgerungskette zu unterbrechen und statt dessen eine Reflexionsschleife zu gestalten. Diese Reflexionsschleife dient dazu, sich zu fragen, warum man bestimmte Daten ausgewählt hat, denen persönliche und kulturelle Bedeutung hinzugefügt wurden und andere Daten übersehen absichtlich oder unabsichtlich übersehen hat.

Das Suspendieren, das heißt in der Schwebe halten von Gedanken, Impulsen, Wertungen usw. bildet das Herzstück des Dialogs. Es ist einer seiner wichtigsten neuen Aspekte. Es ist nicht ganz leicht, diesen Aspekt verständlich zu machen, weil das Suspendieren ungewohnt und subtil ist. Er erfordert Aufmerksamkeit, Zuhören und Hinsehen und ist eine notwendige Voraussetzung für eingehendes Forschen. Sprechen ist beim Dialog natürlich notwendig, denn ohne Worte gäbe es wenig zu erforschen. Doch der Prozess des Nachforschens spielt sich beim Zuhören ab, sich selbst und anderen. Zum Suspendieren gehört es, eigene Reaktionen, Impulse, Gefühle und Meinungen so offenzulegen, dass andere in der Gruppe sie erkennen und spüren und zurückspiegeln können. Es bedeutet nicht, sie zurückzudrängen oder zu unterdrücken und auch nicht, sie aufzuschieben. Es bedeutet einfach nur, ihnen ernsthaft Aufmerksamkeit zu schenken, damit ihre Strukturen erkannt werden können, während sie stattfinden.

Wenn Sie beispielsweise fähig sind, Aufmerksamkeit aufzubringen für die starken Gefühle, die vielleicht den Eindruck eines bestimmten Gedankens, eines eigenen oder den eines anderen, begleiten, und wenn es Ihnen gelingt, diese Aufmerksamkeit beizubehalten, dann wird sich der Denkprozess tendenziell verlangsamen. Und das erlaubt Ihnen vielleicht den tieferen Sinn, der Ihrem Gedankenprozess zugrundeliegt, zu erkennen und die oft inkohärente Struktur einer Handlung zu spüren, die Sie sonst vielleicht automatisch vollzogen hätten. Ähnlich kann, wenn eine Gruppe solche Gefühle suspendieren und ihnen Aufmerksamkeit schenken kann, der Prozess, der in der Gruppe vom Denken zum Fühlen zum Handeln fließt, sich ebenfalls verlangsamen und seinen tieferen, hintergründigeren Sinn und mögliche implizite Verzerrungen offenbaren und schließlich zu etwas führen, was wir als eine neue kohärente, gemeinsame Einsicht beschreiben könnten.

Gedanken, Impulse, Wertungen usw. zu suspendieren erfordert eine ernsthafte Aufmerksamkeit dem Gesamtprozeß gegenüber, den wir betrachtet haben, sowohl auf Seiten des einzelnen als auch der Gruppe. Damit ist Arbeit verbunden, eine Arbeit, die zunächst sehr mühselig erscheinen mag. Doch wenn diese Mühe aufgebracht wird, entwickelt sich die Fähigkeit, solche Aufmerksamkeit unaufhörlich aufzubringen, und dann wird immer weniger Anstrengung dazu erforderlich sein.

Entfaltung und Artikulieren

Wenn man imstande ist, seinen Gedanken im Gespräch zum Ausdruck zu bringen, ist es wichtig, von dem zu sprechen, was einem wirklich wichtig ist. Und zwar ohne Wortspielerei, die Gefühle und Gedanken verdecken. Dafür ist es wichtig, Vertrauen in die Gültigkeit des eigenen Denkens zu haben.

Im Rahmen ihrer Doktorarbeit hat Susanne Ehmer zwei international operierende Unternehmen untersucht. Beide Unternehmen betrachten aus unterschiedlichen Blickwinkeln die Möglichkeit des Dialogprozesses zur positiven Beeinflussung ihres Unternehmenserfolgs. Sie hat festgestellt, dass der Dialogprozess bei Durchführung der vier Grundprinzipien von Isaacs positive Wirkung auf die Beteiligten und somit auch auf die betreffenden Unternehmen hat. Grundvoraussetzung für den Erfolg des Dialogprozesses sind die Erkenntnisse, dass auch Gefühle Ressourcen sind und dass Hierarchie im Dialogprozess ein Tabu ist.

Durch Beobachtung, Suspendieren und Kommunikation lernen die Beteiligten in Echtzeit. Dies löst aber eine Verlangsamung aus. Aber gerade durch diese Verlangsamung können die Beteiligten lernen, mit Komplexität und Widersprüchen umzugehen. Dazu benutzt man die Reflexionsschleife.

NL Zoetermeer

13-06-2011

© Copyright 2011

Über Professor C.J.M. Beniers

Prof. C.J.M. Beniers ist ein bekannter Fachmann auf dem Gebiet von modernen und internationalen Kommunikationstechniken und Entwickler vom Sechs-Komponenten-Modell. Damit können Firmen, Institutionen und Politiker mit Gesprächspartnern aus aller Welt erfolgreich kommunizieren und verhandeln. Seine Karriere begann als internationaler Manager bei Philips N.V. Später promovierte er als Professor und hat mittlerweile mehr als 35 Jahre Erfahrung als Manager und Management Trainer. Dadurch kennt er beide Seiten, die Theorie und die Praxis, sehr genau. Als Kommunikationsexperte veranstaltet er wissenschaftliche Forschungen im interkulturellen Bereich. Die interessanten Ergebnisse  dieser Forschungen sind in seinen E-Büchern nachzulesen, wie z.B. “Bridging The Cultural Gap”. Hier lernen moderne Manager sich erfolgreich auf Geschäfte mit Leuten aus Fremdkulturen vorzubereiten. Unter anderem werden aktuelle Themen wie Verhandlungen in Krisenzeiten, interkulturelle Barrieren, landesspezifische Kommunikationstechniken, persönliche kulturbedingte Wertesysteme und Missverständnisse behandelt und plausibel erklärt.

Kontakt:

Prof. C.J.M. Beniers

Amaliaplaats 2
2713 BJ Zoetermeer
Die Niederlande

The New Rules Of Handling Customer Complaints

The New Rules Of Handling Customer Complaints*

Want some old advice? The customer is always right. Okay, now you can stick that in your pocket. Today’s best service entrepreneurs are looking beyond old axioms in relating to customers. That’s because today’s best customer service isn’t something that can be faked: it’s personalized and it has a personality. Do you have the certainty you can harness all the feedback customers will give your company, act on it, and keep your best customers coming back for more? We’ve compiled highlights of new expert tips from articles in Inc. and guides on Inc.com to help you take a fresh look at making your customers happier and your business better.

1. Ditch the formalities and break the rules.

The last thing unsatisfied customers want to hear is a recitation of your company’s return policies, Tali Yahalom writes on Inc.com. “Today’s customer expects to be treated as an individual, not as just another number who’s complaining,” Ann Thomas, a senior consultant at Performance Research Associates, a Minnesota consulting firm, says. Consider the case of a department store with a 90-day deadline for returning an item. If there’s a customer who just got married, returned from her honeymoon and, at day 100, realized that a gravy plate adorned with doves is actually not her style, it’s worth looking into alternative options rather than sending her home right away. Your company should know that occasionally bending the rules will ultimately cost less it than it would to lose the customer or, worse, if the customer leaves and relays a negative story about your company.

2. Don’t give customers too much choice.

What happens when you give customers too much say in how you make what they buy? “Quite simply, overly-demanding customers can undercut your ability to grow a valuable business,” writes John Warrillow, serial entrepreneur, author, and Inc. contributor. He explains that when trying to scale up a subscription research offering similar to a Bloomberg or Forrester research program using a model by which a customer subscribes to a pre-set number of reports provided to all, things started to derail. His company was customizing each report for the 17 subscribers, meaning an annual 102 reports based on six studies, which was untenable for the company’s 20 employees. Warrillow shut down the program. The lesson? “In hindsight, I realize a big part of the problem was my involvement in the selling. I’m just too tempted to make a sale at just about any cost. Next time, I’ll know better than to let my sales instincts undermine my entire business model.”

3. Monitor your reputation online. All the time.

“Facebook, Twitter, and Yelp have become essential components of many companies’ online marketing strategies, but there are countless other sites on which customers rant and rave about their experiences,” writes Inc. reporter April Joyner. When customers rant online, it has the potential to tarnish a company’s brand—and scare away prospective buyers.  There is a host of new tools to monitor what’s been said about them online. “Eighty percent of companies do fine with Google Alerts,” says Andy Beal, founder of Trackur, an online monitoring software company. “But once you have 30 different keywords to monitor, you’ll outgrow it very quickly.” Companies such as Trackur, Radian6, and Viralheat offer Web-based dashboards specifically designed to monitor multiple brands. Though the most expensive of these can cost more than $6,000 a year to use, many services offer less expensive packages for small businesses, Joyner reports.

4. Shut up and listen.

It sounds simple, and it sounds easy, but it’s often not. When a customer starts ranting, just listen.  Tali Yahalom writes on Inc.com: “Often customers feel the needs to vent frustration with a product or service before even considering a proactive solution.” And Thomas told her: “Acknowledge the customer’s emotional state,” Thomas says. And don’t get defensive. Remember that a good empathy statement does not imply ownership of the problem. Another key communication tip involves asking open-ended questions that involve the customer, Thomas says. This technique will not only divert focus from emotional frustration but also generate copious information about the problem at hand and help you arrive at the appropriate solution. “Rather than getting defensive … I need to simply listen to the customer, accept the feedback, thank the person, and then decide what to do,” she adds. As a bonus, the customer might feel appreciated and cared about, alleviating some of their emotional frustration.

5. Collect lots and lots of customer feedback.

Several companies offer tools that let customers submit feedback and vote on suggestions. Although all of these services offer some basic features for free, they typically require business owners to pony up for paid versions in order to moderate customer comments and integrate the tools into their company websites. With Get Satisfaction, customers can report problems, ask questions, submit ideas, and offer compliments. The most popular package for small businesses, priced at $89 a month, includes design customization and an analytics dashboard. Other options, such as IdeaScale, UserVoice, and UserEcho, are priced from $15 to $589 a month.

6. Sit tight and be nice.

Sometimes, necessary business-sustaining decisions irk customers. In the case of eMusic, an online subscription-based music service, in order to broaden the offering catalog, a price hike was needed. Customers lashed out online immediately. Adam Bluestein writes: “Over the next couple of weeks, Stein received more than 1,500 comments. ‘Good luck with your new major label friends,’ read one. ‘They will teach you so much more about screwing your customers,’ offered another. Over the summer, eMusic staff members worked to cool down the message boards and promote added-value features of the new pricing plan, such as album pricing, which allows customers to buy many complete albums at a discount on the regular per-track rate. The company also dispensed a flurry of virtual Band-Aids—giving customers ‘booster packs’ of free downloads and offering them free songs in exchange for rating or reviewing albums.” Lo and behold, a few months later the online dust had settled, with the site’s subscriber base holding steady.

7. Don’t fear using your QSA budget.

Clarissa Cruz writes that successful restaurants specialize in dealing with unappetizing situations with customers. “When a bug was recently discovered on a table at the Michelin-starred Jean Georges in New York City, management promptly moved the affected customers to another table and comped them drinks, dessert, and an additional course,” Cruz writes. Rajat Parr, wine director at Michael Mina in San Francisco, says: “Comps are built into our QSA [quality service assurance] budget. It makes up about one percent of the budget.” Consider that from the start, and don’t get bitter about using it, experts say. “It’s the cost of doing business,” adds Michael Madrigale, the head sommelier at Bar Boulud in New York City.

8. Focus on learning from the feedback.

Larry O’Toole, the founder of Gentle Giant movers, doesn’t get a lot of negative feedback from his customers. In fact, he tells Inc. magazine editor-at-large Leigh Buchanan that in order to solicit more criticism he broadened the rating spectrum or 1 to 10 he asked customers to place their service on to 1 through 14, where 12, 13, and 14 were all excellent. “That way people could give us a lower score and not seem too critical. They could circle 12, meaning you’re excellent but you could be better,” he says. But once you have feedback, it’s key to tune in to how you can actually use the criticism to make your company better. O’Toole tells a story: “I remember when my grandfather was teaching me how to drive. He told me, ‘If someone honks a horn at you, you probably could have done something a little bit better. Maybe they were being a jerk. But if you were a really good driver, that wouldn’t have happened. Instead of getting upset at that person, try to figure a way to improve.’ So if someone yells at me in traffic I just say to them, ‘Thanks for the feedback.’”

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